If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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