Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
