Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
