Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
