nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
