I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Drake has all the answers
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
