ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
