and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
