If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
