just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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