Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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