it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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