so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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