I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
