apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
