Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
