You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
