You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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