5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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