Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
