So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
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