weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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