it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
