Are we in a gay sports bar?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
