Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
can u get pink eye on your cock?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
