I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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