I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
