How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
