Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
