Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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