like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Randomize
