I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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