Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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