That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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