I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
