Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
