I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
