Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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