but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
