meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
You can't just leave with hair like that
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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