Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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