It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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