I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
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I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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