If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
