True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
