Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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