i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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