yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize