I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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