I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
