At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
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Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
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I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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