did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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