Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
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