He uses pillows to masturbate.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
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