worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
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