Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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