You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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