Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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