thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
