No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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