Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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