oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
